The Sherlock Fandom as a House

If this fandom was a house, each ship would have a room, or something.

MorMor shippers would be locked in the bedrooms, biting each other and tearing off clothes and just generally wildly fucking, whilst the JohnLock shippers would run amok throughout the rest of the house, pretty much going wherever the fuck they please because no one would try and stop them.  Occasionally they’d make sweet love in the showers or on a couch or maybe the bed if the MorMor shippers would kindly vacate for a minute.

Meanwhile, the MyStrade shippers have taken over the office, even though it’s not their division, where Mrs. Hudson, the only character who’s never shipped with anybody ever, occasionally brings cake.

Shippers of JohnBastian, Mollrene, JohnRene, and SebRene are scattered through various closets in the house—no gay jokes intended, it’s just that these ships hardly exist.  Because apparently no one wants Irene to be happy.

Meanwhile, there is one Irene ship that’s sailing pretty well, and that’s the SheRene shippers, who hang out mainly in whatever room they can snag, because they give no fucks about who’s watching them.  And John’s always got the backup from JohnIarty shippers, who hang out in the yard with the Sheriarty shippers, both groups desperately trying to pretend they ship JohnLock and have nothing to do with Moriarty.  The MollIarty shippers are on the porch, and half of them are watching the confusion with interest whilst the other half is being snuggly and feeling sorry for everyone.

Now, the MollStrade shippers, they’re pretty much the only scrap of order in the whole shebang, and they kind of just roam through the house trying to tame the other shippers and it just doesn’t work because when MorMor isn’t fucking, it’s fucking shit up.  And then there’s always the problem of half the shippers being lured off to the greener pastures of Sherlolly, which was really what they wanted all along.  They tend to hang out in the basement of the house, whacking things with riding crops ‘to see what will happen’ and leaving severed heads about.  But they’re kind of weirdly cute, I guess.

Of course, there’s also the AnderVan shippers, who keep to the bathrooms and certain dark hallways, mostly because no one likes them or wants to be around them, which can be attributed to them being ugly and stupid.  But it’s generally agreed that they’re nowhere near as bad as the SherCroft shippers, who are regularly herded into the corners of the room by all the other shippers and made to wear the cone of shame, because that’s just nasty, man.

…But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.